Bad first impressions

The Unpleasant One

What a surprise! And what originality…

One of my colleagues at my super temporary job calls me the Unpleasant One. I found it out a few days ago and I’m not surprised at all, even though I would have preferred to be called the Chosen One :-P.

Why I’m not surprised? Because it happens all the time.

The first impression I give is always a bad one. People seems to see me as conceited, snobbish, cold and (*drum roll*) self-confident. At this point I can’t do anything but roll on the floor laughing. Self-confident me? I fight for every single little thing with my inflexible self and I appear self-confident and conceited? Oh, come on!

I have heard, or better eavesdropped, people saying that I’m snobbish and presumptious so many times that I’m not sure anymore if they are wrong or if I am really like that. However i can tell you with certainty that I’m not self confident. I fear other judgment so much that it took me 25 years to tell my family that I love writing. Is this self confidence? I don’t think so.

So… where does this bad first impression come from?

Even if I don’t care about my colleague’s opinion, because I don’t really know him and in a week or so this job will be over, I keep scanning my actions and my words, again and again, to understand what I’ve done wrong.

After a whole life of bad first impressions, I learned something about myself: I seem conceited where I am just reserved, I appear snobbish where I simply try not to be intrusive and I appear close because I don’t believe that strangers can be interested in my business. I try to soften these traits when approaching new people or a new work place, but sometimes it simply doesn’t work and I became the Unpleasant One.

When it happens my Inner Critic (see the previous posts to know her better) would like to take a shovel, dig a hole and throw me in it, but I’m not a messed up teenager anymore and I do my best not to listen and not to care. Moreover I couldn’t be someone else, even if i tried.

Give a better first impression, just like writing, requires a lot of self-discipline, self-control and practice. The difference is that I’m not always sure it’s worth the effort.

Now that I told you my sad story (*self pity, self pity and self pity once more*) I am curious; how is the first impression you give? Let me know what you think!

By the way, there is at least one good point: once you have been labeled as unpleasant, you don’t have to pretend to be kind anymore. You can be as irksome as you choose…. Bwahahahah!

2 Replies to “Bad first impressions”

  1. Maria

    Hello Irene,
    I came across your blog through goodreads and I like it! I admire your nerve (as you call it) and I wish you luck at writing. I really enjoyed this post, I have seen myself through your words since I am very shy and most people think I am unpleasant and snobbish. But I learnt not to care because I know what the truth is and people who really know me can appreciate my nature. I wish I had more courage to do things I am scared to because I am aware I should take all the good opportunities but I am still working on it! All the best Maria
    P.S.: I am Italian but since you write in English and I love it, I thought it would be nice to comment in English 🙂

    • Irene Aprile

      Maria, thank you for your comment!
      It feels good to know that other people have the same problem I have with first impressions. Keep working on it, it’s worth the effort!
      I decided to write in English because I believe it’s a good way to reach more people, however I’m writing fictions in Italian and translating them is quite hard. Maybe I should write them directly in English, but I don’t feel confident enough with my vocabulary.
      I hope you’ll keep reading and enjoying my blog!

Leave a Reply

Content not available.
Please allow cookies by clicking Accept on the banner

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

By continuing to use the site, you agree to the use of cookies. more information

The cookie settings on this website are set to "allow cookies" to give you the best browsing experience possible. If you continue to use this website without changing your cookie settings or you click "Accept" below then you are consenting to this.