Do you believe in destiny?
I’m not sure about it. I don’t really believe in a force that guides our lives no matter what, because I firmly believe in free will and in the power of choice.
However, I trust in signs.
I sometimes feel that the Universe sends us signs when we most need them. We are free to follow them or not, but signs are there waiting to be noticed.
Or maybe a more rational explanation could be that when we are ready to make a decision, our brain became more perceptive towards things that harmonise with our choice.
This is what happened to me.
I had been dwelling on my passion for writing for a while when I came across an e-book on my Kindle. I downloaded it some time ago, but I hadn’t read it yet. However, that seemed the right time because I was ruminating on writing a lot.
As usual, the prominent thought was that I wasn’t good enough, that no one would read my stories, that no one would be interested in my writing. I’m very good at self-pity parties.
The e-book was You Are A Writer (So Start Acting Like One) by Jeff Goins. If you don’t know Jeff Goins yet, you should visit his blog, one of the most inspiring I’ve ever read. Jeff Goins’ book made me feel a lot of different things.
The entire reading was a seesaw between an oh, yes! I can do it and an oh, no! I’ll never be good enough. My brain was a battlefield with two armies, fighting for days, even when I was eating, sleeping, reading, talking with people. One moment I felt confident and ready, the next one I felt dejected.
Then something else happened. Another sign.
I was scanning the blog of an author friend, Cinta Garcia de La Rosa, when I found a series of posts she wrote about writing. They contain fantastic writing tips about what to do before a blank page, about how to hush up your inner editor/proofreader, about creative impulse and doubts.
It seemed too much to be a coincidence. Or maybe my twisted, introverted brain was just searching for some more encouragement. My inner editor is so cruel. She is severe, inflexible, intransigent with everyone and everything, particularly with me.
But after reading Cinta’s suggestions, I found enough nerve to silence her for a while, to pick up a pen and a notebook and begin writing.
As Jeff Goins says in his book, we don’t write to be adored or to be paid a lot of money for our work, we write so that our voice can be heard. And as Cinta says, we write because we have to. We need it.
So I went on writing my story, despite my inner editor. I’m still writing it, and I don’t know if I’m good enough.
Probably not. Not yet. But I’ll keep writing.
So here is the problematic question–why writing a blog?
Because I don’t want to make this journey alone. I want to share my experience, and I don’t give a damn if a few people only would be interested in it. If just one person appreciates what I write, it will be worth the effort.
Would you care to join me on this journey?
Thank you for reading so far. I would like to know what you think!